Father’s Day At Church, Among Other Things

Yesterday was my first time in years playing in a music team for the two Sunday services at church. Previously (when I was in my teens), I was only playing at the Youth Meets. After being ‘lost’ for 8-9 years, coming back to church, the last thing I expected is to be roped into trying out for the worship team again so soon. But I gotta say, I’m glad, cause that’s where my passion in serving God is. ūüėČ

No, I’m not officially in the main service worship team yet. Still in the learning and training mode. Thank God for great mentors. Instrument : Bass. Yup. Never would I imagine that I’ll be able to play bass. I’ve always only played the guitar and piano, sometimes the keyboard, but never bass. So it’s quite overwhelming yesterday. And I was on duty yesterday because for Father’s Day, they wanted all the females to be on duty, giving the men some rest. ūüėČ Hence, only female bassist around? Yours truly. Haha. I’m just thankful that I didn’t mess anything up for the team, and worship time was awesome.

As religious as it sounds, I really thank God for the talents he’s given me and also the opportunity for my to use it to glorify Him. It’s an amazing feeling to be serving God.¬†20130521-114050.jpgOn a side note, it’s kinda unfortunate that the first time I step back up on stage, it’s Father’s Day. Needless to say, I can’t stop myself tearing up (yes, right there on the stage) when the youths did a little sketch/song for all the fathers in church. They sang ‘Butterfly Kisses’ by Bob Carlisle and acted out the scenes in the song. I really can’t stop the tears flowing right there and then on the stage. I wished I get to experience all that with my dad, but I guess sometimes, we don’t always get what we want in life.

I wish I had more time with my dad. More years to spend with him, more football matches to watch together, more dinners to eat together. It’s my always been my dream to have my dad walk me down the aisle, and as silly as it sounds in the Asian culture, I’ve always wanted to have a ‘father-daughter’ dance at my wedding dinner. But these dreams are ripped away the day my dad collapse from a heart attack and left me and mum. Now, I’m left with my own imagination as to how my dad would feel and react to the various happenings in my life if he is still around. Graduation, boyfriends, breakups, work life, etc etc. I guess this is one of the few things that time can’t heal. 11 years down the road and I still feel the pinch. I’ll always miss my dad.

But I’m glad that I still have my big Daddy up above looking after mum and I every step of the way. God is always good.

God & Music

So. Back in church. Slowly starting to serve again. Bit by bit. 3 musical instruments. Guitar, piano, bass. Just wanna give¬†the best when playing for God. A little stress at the beginning.¬†Feeling¬†even more¬†stress now, when I found out I have to play the guitar for the young adults’ Christmas outing carolling session, together with 4 other guitarist, who are like, super good. And I’m like, haven’t touched my guitar in 8 years and just started picking it up again this year. Argh! But I try to remind myself what someone shared with me a few weeks back. “Just do your best with what little you have, and God will be pleased.

I remember 2 weeks back, I was playing the piano for the church’s children’s camp. Second time touching the keyboard after 8 freaking years. The first time being the practice two days before the camp. Haha. Truthfully, I didn’t think I did well at all.¬†My playing¬†was a little messy¬†for the¬†praise song, and my playing wasn’t really smooth for the worship songs. And sometimes I did wonder if God had taken away the musical talents he blessed me with. As it was stated in the Bible that if you don’t use and do anything with¬†the talents God¬†gave you,¬†He will take it away from you and give it to someone else. I was lost for 8 years. And I may have found my way back, but it’s been 8 years, I put it all to waste. So yeah. I was worried God had taken it all away.¬†But then, Sister Hannah came up to me after worship and said, “Keep playing, don’t give this up. There’s an annointing from God when you play. What you’re playing, is prophetic playing.” It was really surprising. I don’t understand exactly what she meant, but one thing I’m sure? God is Grace. And I am humbled.¬†He hasn’t removed those talents he blessed me with.

And with whatever little I have, I will give my best to Him.

Fishing With Moses

Who says religion gotta be boring and prim & proper? A little humour won’t hurt. As long as we learn something from it. Right? ūüôā
20120831-011411.jpgCan’t help laughing when I saw Joanne post the picture above on FaceBook. The first thing that popped into my mind? Never have a fishing competition with Moses. You’re bound to lose. ūüėČ

Looking at it in a different way though, this picture actually made me realize that, many times in life, we tend to feel like it’s a little ridiculous asking from God all the petty things in life, when there are so many other major and more important things in the world to be taken care off. Praying it won’t rain until we get into the building when it looks like it’s gonna pour, just so we won’t wet our dress. Or praying that we’ll be able to get movie tickets of the latest blockbuster hit in the cinemas. Or praying that the guy you have a crush on will notice you. Many other mundane things. But we never notice that God does take care of all those stuff most of the time, when we pray, whether or not we consider it petty. Even when the prayers are not answered, I believe it’s more because God knows what’s best for us, rather than him considering it to be petty stuff.

“A Father who loves His children will never consider their stuff petty, no matter how small, insignificant or ridiculous the requests are.” – Me

Training Wheels

20120723-121620.jpgGuess what? I can confidently say, I experienced all these firsthand. Some I passed with flying colours. Others ? Epic failure. Sometimes, I just lose it. Ended up ranting to God and even putting the blame on him sometimes. Though when I’m calm and clear minded, I know He’s shaping me into a better person. But in the midst of storms and hurricane, I’m not allowed that luxury to reason with myself. And I’m a little ashamed to say, many times now, I let my faith fall off the cliff, or rather take a big dive over the cliff into the rocks below. But God never fails, even when I did. I’m glad no matter how far off the trail I go, He is able to pull me back to the right track. It doesn’t matter if it take days or weeks or months, or even years.

I’ve let myself fall deeper and deeper heading for the sharp jagged rocks for a few years now. So glad I finally managed to grab onto a rope and is now slowly climbing up back to the right path. Pretty sure God threw that rope over to me. I won’t guarantee that I won’t fail some of His tests again in the future. Actually, I’m pretty sure I’ll probably still fail at some of them. But we grow and learn. At least now, I’m gonna try even harder than before to keep my faith, believing God knows the best for me and is training me into the better person I’m supposed to be.

Being on training wheels is always hard, but it will all pay off when the wheels come off.
Sometimes we forget, sometimes we lose faith. But just remember to pick it up and go back to God.

Stop. Look. Go. RGBC Women’s Conference 2012

20120501-132303.jpgDecided to take a step forward after being passive for almost 4 months back in church. Signed up for the women’s conference held by the church. Glad I did. Thoroughly blessed with Pr. Dr. Lee Choo’s preaching and sharing. Besides learning a whole bunch of stuff on being a woman of God, my value as a woman, the power of God gave to women, God just did something small for me, but in an amazing way. Every time I think back, I’m still can’t help but be in awe. =) It’s been a real long while since I attended this kinda godly functions/conferences. And awkward feeling as it was, it felt great at the same time.

Godly thing aside, it was nice to have the men serve us for two days. Boy, did they do a good job. Haha. Salutes to them. And we women had a fun time playing the Amazing Race. Driving all round Air Itam and Farlim, completing missions. Under the slight drizzle at times.

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Great fun. I thank God for my ‘averagely good’ skills in maths. Haha. Having to sum the 10 numbers we’re given to equal to 1. Solved the numbers puzzle in less than 10 minutes. Increased our final placing by a margin. Heh. =)¬†20120501-132349.jpgMy theory behind it? Anything, anything at all, multiplied by zero, equals to zero.

Great times. =) Kinda hoping they’ll continue having another women’s conference next year. =)

God Spoke

He did. Sunday’s message by Ps. Palan. Right at me.

So many whys asked since last year end. Not understanding why some things happened the way they did. But I stopped, a little while back. I decided not to ask. And everytime I feel the hurt, the pain or the sadness, I don’t question, but I just talk to God. Explaining how I feel, and asking Him to help me in the way He thinks best. Trusting God is better than trusting anyone else, I guess. And very quickly, a sense of peace will usually follow.

But the past Sunday, God answered. Without me asking. A little reminder to myself. God is a loving good Father. And a good Father will do what’s best for His kids. And if He has to discipline them to get them back on the right track, He will do it. It may hurt at the very moment, but in the long run, for the future, He is training His children up to be righteous people of God, with a happy life. Well, I guess I needed a little discipline. Strayed from church for more than 5 years. I suppose God thinks its about time I get my sorry ass back to church and on the right track in life. Sad to say, over the past few years, I have let love, my personal life, gym, studies and etc etc be a huge distracting factor for me. Pulling me further and further away from God. Time to learn to strike a balance. Time to learn my lesson. I guess using the ‘soft encouragement’ way didn’t work for me. Hence the shit that happened. Good discipline. Heh. Well, sad that it had to come to that stage. But happy that, it brought me back to the right track. Brought me back to God. Even happier that, I learned to trust Him even before this message was preached. =)

I still wish some things could go back to the way they were. But God knows what’s best for me. I believe. =) And I need to keep reminding myself, not only now when I haven’t still recovered from the recent wounds, but also in the future whenever I endure hardship, that nothing is accidental with God. A father disciplines his kids only cause he loves them just so much.

“And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as His children. For what children are not discipline by their father? If you are not disciplined, and everyone undergoes discipline, then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They discipline us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.” – Hebrews 12 : 5-12 (NIV)

MAdd Messenger

Was thoroughly blessed with the message preached by this speaker, Petia Wilson, from Auckland, New Zealand.
“I Am God’s Gift To Me.”
A sermon, I gotta keep reminding myself. Hit right at the heart. God knew I was going to PCC on that day. I believe it wasn’t by chance I heard that message. It was by the grace of God. And I’m glad He made me decide to walk into PCC on that day. Grateful to Rebecca who had extended the invitation to me.

Even his quick paintings, touched many hearts. Of the 3 he drew on that day, these two caught my heart.

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They displayed many other pictures of his around the sanctuary. And as I was leaving the church, another picture caught my eye.

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My Saviour, in His crown of thorns, before he was crucified. For me. For all mankind.