Reflection

Last day of 2015. And here I am, quietly and comfortably snuggled on my couch at home at 11.10pm. Boy, it has been such a year. The good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty. But now that I have some time to look back, I realized the good definitely outweighs the bad, and the pretty outweighs the ugly.

Learnt so much about human nature this year. Things that makes me smile, things that makes me frown, things that makes me smirk and things that causes about 1000 snarky/sarcastic remarks to race through my head. 😉 One of the hardest but best things to master in life is to not take anything too seriously. Disclaimer : This does NOT mean to take everything as a joke. 😛 But rather, learn to let go whenever needed, and laugh it off when its warranted. 🙂

After more than a year and a half of no proper exercise routine since I started working, I’ve started taking up swimming again mid of this year. Nothing too high impact like the gym classes I used to go to, but I figured, 3-4 days of 1 kilometer swim per week is a good start. Am super glad I’m slowly shifting my lifestyle back to a healthier and fitter one. Though its gonna be a long journey to get back to how I was 3-4 years ago. Hm.

I’ve also decided to officially start my YouTube channel after having fun creating my trial Christmas cover video. 🙂 If there’s one thing this year has taught me, it would be that life is too short for us to live u to other people’s expectations. Hence, I’m continuing my drums lessons. Planning to get a set of e-drums soon. Also planning to pick up a new language. Still a toss between French of Spanish. Hm. 😀

As we’re entering the new year, and I’m getting to my 30th birthday in approximately 3 months, I’ve learnt that the most important thing in life is to do things that makes you happy. Nothing else really matters. You need to be able to make yourself happy before you’re able to make others happy. And hence, I’ve decided that I’m gonna fill 2016 to the brim with things, activities and people who makes me genuinely happy and makes me look forward to life everyday.

I mean, what is life if you have nothing to look forward to?  😉

Happy 2016!

4th August 2002

This is the first time the 4th of August falls on a Sunday since the year 2002.

Just wanted to share a little something.

Never take your parents for granted.

11 years ago, on the 4th of August, a Sunday very much like today, dad dropped me at church at 7.30am for the youth pre-worship prayer. I was on duty for worship that Youth Meet. After church, I walked down for lunch with my friends. Went for piano class before dad picked me up and treated me to McDonald’s. Then he and mum joined one of the cell groups for their hiking outing after he dropped me home. I didn’t know that when he went out that evening, he would never come back. Today, 11 years later, I went through almost the same routine, but no dad this time. I can’t even express how much I miss him every single day these past 11 years.

So, don’t wait for special occasions to show appreciation and love to your parents. Give them a call to say ‘I love you’ or drop by just to give them a hug. Don’t miss the opportunity cause once you miss it and they’re gone, there are no second chances.

‘At Least I’m Not As Sad As I Used To Be’… TeeHee!

A couple of good friends told me that they noticed I look much happier compared to the past 2 years. 🙂

It’s true. I am. 🙂 And it’s good that I’m very much happier to the point that it makes a noticeable difference. *beams* 🙂 Life is so much better when you get rid of all the baggages and nonsensical people in your life. I used to care so much about so many things and so many people, but now, I limit my energy, time and attention to only those who’ve earned a place in my life. I really coulnd’t be bothered with everything and everyone else who is drama-ing around me. 😉

The past 2 years, I was laughing and drinking, but deep down, I wasn’t truly happy. But this year, this year, I laugh though I no longer drink (tons of alcoholic drinks till I get tipsy), and deep down, I’m truly happy, with a sense of peace. And I thank God for all that happened. The good and the bad. They made me who I am today. And even though I still have my crappy days, but generally, deep down, I’m happy. 🙂

On a side note, this song always makes me smile cause I relate so much to it. ‘At Least I’m Not As Sad (As I Used To Be)’ by Fun.. Though, just so you know, I don’t smoke (if you know the lyrics of this song, you’ll know what I mean). Smoking is the only thing I don’t relate in the song. Teehee!

Father’s Day At Church, Among Other Things

Yesterday was my first time in years playing in a music team for the two Sunday services at church. Previously (when I was in my teens), I was only playing at the Youth Meets. After being ‘lost’ for 8-9 years, coming back to church, the last thing I expected is to be roped into trying out for the worship team again so soon. But I gotta say, I’m glad, cause that’s where my passion in serving God is. 😉

No, I’m not officially in the main service worship team yet. Still in the learning and training mode. Thank God for great mentors. Instrument : Bass. Yup. Never would I imagine that I’ll be able to play bass. I’ve always only played the guitar and piano, sometimes the keyboard, but never bass. So it’s quite overwhelming yesterday. And I was on duty yesterday because for Father’s Day, they wanted all the females to be on duty, giving the men some rest. 😉 Hence, only female bassist around? Yours truly. Haha. I’m just thankful that I didn’t mess anything up for the team, and worship time was awesome.

As religious as it sounds, I really thank God for the talents he’s given me and also the opportunity for my to use it to glorify Him. It’s an amazing feeling to be serving God. 20130521-114050.jpgOn a side note, it’s kinda unfortunate that the first time I step back up on stage, it’s Father’s Day. Needless to say, I can’t stop myself tearing up (yes, right there on the stage) when the youths did a little sketch/song for all the fathers in church. They sang ‘Butterfly Kisses’ by Bob Carlisle and acted out the scenes in the song. I really can’t stop the tears flowing right there and then on the stage. I wished I get to experience all that with my dad, but I guess sometimes, we don’t always get what we want in life.

I wish I had more time with my dad. More years to spend with him, more football matches to watch together, more dinners to eat together. It’s my always been my dream to have my dad walk me down the aisle, and as silly as it sounds in the Asian culture, I’ve always wanted to have a ‘father-daughter’ dance at my wedding dinner. But these dreams are ripped away the day my dad collapse from a heart attack and left me and mum. Now, I’m left with my own imagination as to how my dad would feel and react to the various happenings in my life if he is still around. Graduation, boyfriends, breakups, work life, etc etc. I guess this is one of the few things that time can’t heal. 11 years down the road and I still feel the pinch. I’ll always miss my dad.

But I’m glad that I still have my big Daddy up above looking after mum and I every step of the way. God is always good.

The Old House

One month ago, mum told me that my late grandma’s house has been purchased by developers and will be demolished as soon as some new ‘Jelutong project’ started. Though I don’t spend much time there as I wasn’t close to my maternal grandma, there’s still a feeling of sadness lurking around the heart. The countless Chinese New Years spent there with relatives, the birthday functions, the various weekends that the entire extended family decided to hangout there. Those are all the priceless memories.Yes. This place may not have air-condition at all. No nicely furnished bathroom, though there’s a big huge concrete ‘chui tee’ (hokkien for a concrete tank used to store bathing water). And definitely lots of mosquitoes during the night. But somehow, it holds quite a few of the most cherished memories I have during my younger years. Me and my cousins playing with firecrackers and hopscotch at the large compound in front of the house, watching my dad play badminton with some of my uncles or older cousins, learing to ride my bicycle on two wheels with the help of my mum and dad, and many many more precious moments.

It’s sad the it’s gonna be torn down soon for development, but I guess the state must progress, right? Though a small part of me wished they could leave the house as it is. Turning the entire Penang into a concrete jungle ain’t too appealing to me. I know these places aren’t herritage buildings, but it’s still a part of the traditional villages with the old wooden houses. It would be nice to have some of these still around so our future generations can know how life is in a village. Not that it’s important, but a part of our culture came from these villages.

It’s funny how sometimes people equate development with civilization. It is true from a certain aspect, but many don’t notice, development also turn people into more superficial, materialistic and selfish beings. But many have forgotten that many of the good moral values, that makes a person civilised come from the vilages. Till now, whenever I visit this old house in the Jelutong village, I still see people helping each other in their daily lives, regardless of religion or race. I see people thinking for others instead of thinking solely for themselves. I see people bringing food over to their neighbours to share, simply just because. It’s not often we see that nowadays. And sometimes, it’s heart-warming to watch. Most of the develop places, I can be sure to say, that people sometimes don’t even know who their neighbours are, or even worse how their neighbours look like. But well, I guess it’s the natural flow of things. I see people teaching less and less of moral values nowadays, but instead focus on academic that will spur development alone. Oh well. That’s life.

I’ll miss this place, no doubt. Though, not too much. The memories created here will always be kept safe in the heart.

I Miss My Dad

20120918-121958.jpgSometimes, it hurts to think, yes, flowers is the only thing I can get him now. I remember when I used to buy him small little things when I was younger, sometimes giving him a belated pressie cause I spend all my pocket money for the week, or making handmade gifts for his birthday. It’s sad he didn’t get to wait till I grow up and is able to get him proper nice gifts. I miss him so much. My life changed when he left this world. 😦